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Monday, July 7th, 2008
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7:14 pm - Discworld
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I started reading Going Postal about two years ago and never managed to finish it. I'm not sure why I never finished it, seeing as I usually love Terry Pratchett. I think life just got in the way.
Well, a few days ago I picked it up again, and since it had been so long, started reading it again from the beginning. I finally finished it earlier today. It's not my favorite--so far, Monstrous Regiment is still my favorite, and I think it will take an awful lot to knock it off the top--but it was still really good. It made me laugh, which is about the highest praise I can give to a book.
I think I first started really liking Moist when he told Adora Belle the truth about himself, thereby avoiding that stupid cliche of not telling the woman the truth and allowing her to find out by herself, therby making her twice as mad as she would have been otherwise.
Also, Vetinari may be a tyrant, but he's still really cool.
current mood:  amused
current music: Animal Planet
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| Thursday, July 3rd, 2008
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6:53 pm - Aunt Lucy
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| Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008
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9:04 am - Psychiatric Complications
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Did I mention that I was stopping my clomipramine and switching to Abilify?
I think that's why I've felt so emotional lately. The lack of clomipramine in my system, that is--apparently, the withdrawal symptoms can be kind of weird.
Anyway, the Abilify is out. I took my first dose Sunday night, and by Monday morning I was having a really serious reaction to it. My whole body cramped up so I couldn't move, my face and throat swelled up like a bullfrog, and I started feeling really sick. I ended up spending most of the day in bed, snacking on soda crackers and trying ineffectually to find a comfortable position to lie in.
Anyway--suck. Right now I'm only on 20mg Lexapro (psychiatrically speaking), which doesn't really do much for me, so if I start acting crazy, don't take it personally.
current mood:  busy
current music: Animal Planet
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| Sunday, June 29th, 2008
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7:58 am - Childhood Memories
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![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) redcoast recently unintentionally reminded me of an old childhood favorite: The Brave Little Toaster. I don't know why I liked it so much, since I'm pretty sure it absolutely terrified me--maybe I liked being irretrievably emotionally scarred, I don't know. The fact of the matter is, it's clearly a movie meant for children, seeing as the main character is a friggin' toaster, yet it is also a movie that tends to be very disturbing to children, at least in my experience. If watching cars (that seem to be alive) being led to the crusher as they sing about their past lives is not disturbing, or seeing common household appliances (that seem to be alive) being ripped apart for their working parts isn't disturbing, I don't know what the heck is. There's also an extremely frightening Exploding Air Conditioner that sounds a little like Jack Nicholson--which makes it no wonder he's so frightening. Jack Nicholson is scary!
If you're a cartoon aficionado, there's a lot to like about this movie. I'm not contesting the quality of the thing at all. It's a lot better than most cartoons nowadays. I'm only accusing it of scaring the ever-loving crap out of me as a kid, to the point that I had to hide behind the couch (damn that Exploding Air Conditioner!). And I was a pretty hard kid to scare. Rarely did I ever have to hide behind the couch.
Compare it to any Steven King novel--The Brave Little Toaster is scarier!
*Of course, this hasn't stopped me from watching numerous clips on YouTube in bemused fascination. I couldn't believe they had it on YouTube!*
current mood: amused
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| Saturday, June 28th, 2008
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10:18 pm - Apartment Search
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Wow, I've been at my Grandpa's for a week, but it feels like it's been a lot longer. My parents' hometown was having their bicentennial celebration, since it's been in existence for 200 years this year.
We also spent a day in Indianapolis--my brother was going through his college orientation, and I tagged along so we could take a look at this apartment I was thinking about moving into for next semester.
So, in most apartments, you're supposed to leave the place exactly like you found it, but what if you leave it nicer than you found it? I mean, seriously, like give the walls a new coat of paint, maybe put in some new carpet, that sort of thing? Are they really going to object if they don't have to pay for it?
Anyway, we checked out the apartment building, and I think it's definitely out. The apartment we looked at was really a mess and the guys who live there now...well, the coffee table was covered with empty beer bottles, and seriously, there was a bong sitting right out in the open. I kind of would have liked to see what I could do with the place, but I know my mom would never let me move in there. The manager was kind of creepy, too--I mean, for all we know the guy was just shy, but that's the thing, you don't know. When your personal safety is in question, it's better to be safe than sorry. I mean, I think I could probably take care of myself. I've taken Taekwondo, so theoretically I could defend myself if I had to. But, again, Mom would never let me move in there.
I've decided that if I ever have the money, I'm going to go back and buy that apartment complex and fix it up really nice. Then I could offer a discount for local college students who want to live off campus, so they'd have a decent option.
current mood: calm
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| Monday, June 23rd, 2008
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4:02 am - Social Ineptitude
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I have internet access now. Yay! Of course, there's also a big hole in my wall, but who cares, I has the internets!
Something weird just happened to me, and it sort of bothers me. I don't know if it should bother me, but it does. See, I'd thought that it was just my dad who made a hobby out of misunderstanding everything I say, but it's been brought to my attention that he isn't the only one. And now I'm wondering, "Wow, does everybody misunderstand everything I say?"
When somebody tells me about an experience they've had, good or bad, I always feel like I should tell them about a similar experience I've had. The best way I can explain it is that it's a (perhaps misguided) attempt at fostering comeraderie through sharing similar experiences.
Now, I know when some people share experiences like this, it becomes a kind of contest, like to see whose had the most extreme experience, and people will trade stories back and forth, each trying to top the other.
I've never done this. I've worried sometimes that people would think that's what I'm doing--like, "stealing their thunder" or whatever--but nobody has ever actually accused me of doing so. Until now.
I have to admit, they were kind of mean about it, and I'm a little hurt. It's ridiculously easy to hurt my feelings. I try not to let things like that get to me, but sometimes it's hard.
I don't want an apology or anything, and I don't even know if one is warranted--I just want them to understand. That's all I ever want, is for people to understand. The thought that I might say something with totally pure intentions, and that anybody might take what I say to mean something completely different, is seriously troubling for me.
It's not that it's completely unexpected. I mean, I'm autistic, okay? I should be used to people not understanding me. My first thought when I read this person's comment was, "Oh, great, here we go." I mean, how many articles have I read about people with Asperger's having trouble in social situations? There was this one about this guy who couldn't understand sarcasm. I can understand sarcasm, usually, and sometimes it surprises me when other people don't (if I could understand it, why couldn't they?), and I'd been thinking, "Well, I'm not so bad," as far as the autism thing goes, and I was feeling a lot more confident socially, and now it's like somebody's thrown a wrench into the whole thing.
Okay, now I just sound emo. I'm going to stop being a Drama Queen and go do something else.
current mood:  sad
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| Wednesday, June 18th, 2008
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5:54 pm - Writer's Block: How I got on LJ
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I first opened an LJ account because I wanted to be able to comment on Deleterius. I don't remember how I found Deleterius in the first place. Probably on some other Harry Potter website. That was back when I was an uber-Harry Potter fan. I've grown out of that now, for better or worse.
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5:22 pm - The Older I get, the Dumber Commercials Seem
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Bowflex Muscle-Head: I gave all my fat clothes to my fat friends!
Dear Muscle-Head,
Screw you, Asshole.
Love,
"Fat" Friends
"It's not a problem for guys like me with Erectile Dysfunction!"
Dude, they make ED sound cool. Or like it's an advantage, even. Nobody's making menopause sound cool. I demand that they make menopause sound cool! In the interest of gender relations.
And have you seen that commercial for that "Extendz" stuff, or whatever it's called? It does exactly what you think it does. "Nobody would have believed that such a small tablet could do such an amazing thing."
It's not that amazing. I am supremely underwhelmed. What does it actually do, anyway, raise your blood pressure so Wee Willy Winkie blows up like a balloon? At any rate, it obviously isn't permanent--otherwise they wouldn't be able to keep selling it.
Just remember, kids, contact your doctor if you experience an erection lasting more than four hours.
current mood:  predatory
current music: The History Channel
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| Sunday, June 15th, 2008
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12:34 am - Update
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I'm back at home now (yay!), although I still have some work to finish (boo!).
I finally got my injection I was complaining about not getting. I feel better now.
Oh, and I'm being taken off Clomipramine and being put on Abilify. Apparently, it's not just for bipolar disorder. I'm not bipolar, I'm slightly autistic. My new psychiatrist thinks I'm less autistic and more Pervasive Developmental Disorder. I don't think there's a difference. She came to this conclusion because apparently I'm a lot more pleasant to talk to than most people with Asperger's Syndrome.
I'm more convinced than ever that my dad has Asperger's. Incidentally, he's taking something for his nerves now that will hopefully make him easier to live with.
Also, this is the first time I've had access to the internet for several weeks.
current mood: cheerful
current music: TruTV
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| Wednesday, May 28th, 2008
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1:54 pm
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TV: When is a car not a car?
Me: When it's a truck?
We had a plague of weevils over the weekend. It turned out they were in Emily's food, so my mom and I ended up throwing away about three bags of mouse food.
I was at home for my brother's Graduation, but I'm back at the apartment now. I'm moving out and going home for good on Friday. That'll be a nice change.
The only thing I remember really clearly about my own High School Graduation is that, after the ceremony, I was walking out to the car, and I dropped my tassel on the road and somebody ran it over. Totally flattened it. I will never live that down.
I was about eighth in my class when I graduated. My brother is salutatorian of his class. I don't think he's smarter than me, I think he just tries harder. Either that, or his class is just dumber than mine (jk).
current mood:  blah
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1:52 pm - Writer's Block: Creepy Crawlies
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| Wednesday, May 14th, 2008
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12:14 pm - Best Film Clip Ever
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Okay, so this is a clip from MST3K, and the set-up is, that the Neptune Men are invading Japan, and their little snack-cracker-shaped space ships are wreaking havoc, and then...well, this:
current mood: amused
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| Tuesday, May 13th, 2008
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10:13 pm - I Hate Sleeping
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And I hate sleeping because I always have these freaking weird dreams of a very similar nature repeatedly night after night.
There's the dreams about my family's old house that I grew up in, that we moved out of about eight years ago--usually the dream has something to do with us moving back in temporarily for unexplained reasons, and me wandering around saying, "Why are we here? We don't live here anymore. We need to go home." I have that one so often that I'm totally sick of it.
Then I also have dreams in which my dad and I are fighting about something, which happens often enough in real life that I really don't need to dream about it, too.
I had one the other night that was a combination of the old house and fight with dad in which I, having realized it was all a dream, slammed the door in Dad's face as he was screaming at me, since he wasn't real anyway and couldn't hurt me for doing so.
And then there's the other kind which usually involves one of my dead grandmothers; Grandma Flo died just last year, so I can understand why I might still have dreams about her, but Grandma Betty died twelve years ago, and it only seems like I've started having dreams about her since Grandma Flo died.
The Grandma Flo dreams generally involve me being at her house during a family get-together, and Grandma Flo standing by the kitchen counter smoking a cigarette just like she used to do, and me looking around at everybody else wondering if I'm the only one who can see her.
The Grandma Betty dreams, or at least the last one I had, seem to often involve me discovering that Grandma Betty didn't really die, and that she's been alive all along, having faked her own death for some reason unbeknownst to me (and having somehow survived ovarian cancer for twelve years). And in the last one apparently my parents knew she wasn't really dead, and Grandma Betty was unhappy with them for not having told me that she was still alive, because I guess she was worried about the trauma it might have caused me or something, which for a dream seems surprisingly in character for Grandma Betty.
I guess maybe I've been thinking more about Grandma Betty lately, because I've kind of been thinking about how much she missed. The fact that she never saw me graduate from high school or college or never got to see me get a book published bothers me in a way I can't really explain--it's not even like I was her only grandchild, either. Maybe I feel different because I was the first female grandchild--the first female to be born in my family for several generations, because my grandparents only had three boys and Grandpa was an only child. I don't know if I'm imagining it or not, but somehow I feel like our relationship was special. But I'm sure there are a lot of other grandchildren who feel that way.
Anyway, you could assume that all this thinking must have caused me to dream about her, but the thing is, I'm not sure I started thinking about it until after I started having the dreams. At any rate, as much as I love my grandma, I really wish I would stop dreaming about her. It's getting a little frustrating, and I'm a little concerned that if I keep having the same dreams over and over it might get to the point that I can't remember what's real and what's a dream.
The only good thing about having the same dream over and over is that, once I've had the same one a few times, I start to be able to realize when I'm having it again, so I can usually wake myself up if I want to (or if I can't wake up, I can at least feel a little better knowing it's just a dream, as I did when I shut the door in Dad's face the other night). The only problem comes when I keep dreaming that I've woken up, gotten out of bed, and walked into the bathroom several times before I actually manage to really wake up and get out of bed, which has happened now more times than I would like--I usually figure out that I'm not really awake because I'm usually in the wrong place, like at home instead of my apartment at school, or at the old house, or if I'm at my apartment it doesn't look right.
So, yeah, I'm really tired of needing to sleep, especially since I seem to be doing so much sleeping lately. I could get a lot more done if I didn't need to sleep.
current mood:  contemplative
current music: Animal Planet
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| Wednesday, May 7th, 2008
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7:44 pm - Which Goddess?
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Got this quiz off of aerden:
| Which Goddess lurks in your soul? Athena You are a wise one, my dear! Athena is the Greek Goddess of wisdom, disciplined war, philosophy and knowledge. She is a selective Goddess, as she only inhabits those of your high intelligence and keenness to learn great things. You’re usually not seen without a book in your hand or your eyes glued to the internet (which is, after all, the great information highway!). This should not suggest that you don’t enjoy people, as your cleverness and sharp wit are usually in full force when in a social situation, to everyone’s delight. 
Click Here to Take This Quiz | 
Quizzes and Personality Tests |
To be honest, this result doesn't surprise me at all. I figured it would have to be Athena or maybe Artemis (Goddess of Virgins, you know?).
current mood: bored
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| Monday, May 5th, 2008
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4:55 pm - I Am a Nervous Person
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| Tuesday, April 29th, 2008
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8:35 pm - Cookies Make Everything Better
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Well, today was a craptastic day. It's finals week, so I really can't expect much else, but it seems like today was particularly stressful, frustrating, etc.
But, I'm sitting at my desk with a plate of Pilsbury chocolate chip cookies I just got out of the oven, and I'm feeling a little better. If everybody could just have a cookie whenever they're in a horrible mood, the world would be a better place.
You know what else helps? Cute mouse pics! I know I've been inundating this page with pictures of mice and other stuff, but it's just that once you actually have a camera that works it's hard to resist using it--and the one thing I have to take pictures of is Emily.
 
How can people not like mice? Look how cute she is! Aww, little baby! *melts into puddle*
current mood: calm
current music: Animal Planet
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| Thursday, April 24th, 2008
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11:10 pm - Sometimes All You Can Do Just Isn't Enough
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| Monday, April 21st, 2008
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9:53 pm - I Feel Icky
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Ugh, I feel really sick to my stomach. I'm trying to remember everything I ate today...
Honey Nut Cheerios in vanilla soy milk for breakfast...
Crispy Chicken Sandwich and Mozzarella Sticks from Arby's and a Diet Pepsi for lunch...
Breadsticks and a piece of turtle cheesecake from Fazoli's (which has surprisingly good cheesecake) and a Coke for dinner...
And that's it, as far as I can remember.
Man, I can't afford to be sick again. I'm going to go on to bed and hope I feel better in the morning.
current mood:  sick
current music: Dirty Jobs
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1:03 pm - Writer's Block: Almost Famous
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I want to be a famous author. This is no secret to most of the people who know me well. Being on the best-seller list would be nice, but I want to be known for good writing, not just popular writing. It would be awesome to write the sort of books that college students might study someday.
current mood:  artistic
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10:29 am - Smelly
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Axe Body Spray has freaking weird commercials. And I hate to break it to the people who make that stuff, but it doesn't get rid of the funk, okay? It just covers it up. Get used to it--humans are smelly creatures. We talk about how other types of animals, pigs for example, stink, but the fact of the matter is that most people bathe regularly and they still stink. How do we smell to the pigs, I wonder? Most animals have a better sense of smell than people, so if other people notice the smell, the animals must notice it. Some people smell even if they take a bath every day. Think about how much time human beings spend washing themselves compared to the pigs. If you went that long without bathing, you'd be pretty rank, too.
Oh, and Axe Body Wash smells like Comet Cleanser. I don't know why, but it does. So now my brother smells like a household cleaning product. Thank you. As if he didn't wear too much cologne already.
current mood: bored
current music: Baby Walrus!!!
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